Today I am devoting to cleaning the living room. It looks like SHIT and it is completely my fault. I have books and papers strewn everywhere. You would have to wonder about my mind looking at all the crap everywhere. So, today, even though it is glorious outside, I will be cleaning up what never should have been.
The dogs are at the door pining for their mother who has gone yard sale-ing. She's been looking forward to yard sale season all winter long. It's like a spring rite for her. Spring is FINALLY here when they start.
She went through the paper and found several yard sales. We found out that my Garmin does not work in her vehicle. The cigartte lighter does not work so it cannot charge. I almost, almost, felt bad for her. I love my Garmin.
I am planning on calling Donna this weekend and having a heart to heart with her. I have to be honest about what I'm feeling and how unhealthy the relationship has become for me. I don't intend to tell her everything I've been feeling because that isn't her fault. I do intend to let her know that boundaries have been crossed.
I tend to disconnect from people who are too needy and won't do things for themselves. I am hoping that's my way of setting up boundaries so I don't become enmeshed with their problems. I want Donna to heal, but she's going to have to do it for herself, and quite a bit by herself. She's come a long way, but she keeps looking for approval. She keeps complaining about the same things but won't do anything about them. I won't allow her to whine to me anymore and she thinks I'm beastly for it.
I believe that if you have the ability to change the problem and want to then you should at least try. If you can't fix the problem change the way you think about it or admit you like it the way it is.
For example, Donna complains about not having a fifth vehicle. Neil, her husband always takes hers. Neil is the only adult without a vehicle, but he takes hers. She does nothing about it. They were supposed to get the vehicle from their son back in January. Here it is the middle of April and they don't have it back. Neil to Nicholas that he had to return the vehicle, but neither or Donna have made him return it. It's ridiculous that they should whine about it when neither of them are taking the responsibility for having the vehicle returned. Yet whine they do!!
I am not sympathetic at all. She makes her bed then complains about it. I won't do that.
I do understand that there are things in life we have to endure, like potty training, ear aches, our children's spates, but the things we don't have to endure such as being without a car, or fretting over our children's study habits in college we shouldn't. I don't understand why she wants to continue whining about the same things over and over again. That got on my nerves.
