27 March 2009
I am supposed to write a letter to myself regarding my weight loss. I’ll get to that in a minute.
Have you ever had a day where you just should have stayed in bed? I had one of those today. I’ve been having trouble with a coworker, J, who I work with interdependently. I’ve told my manager about the problem and yet nothing has been done to improve the situation. In fact, she’s “researching” options to handle the situation. Don’t ask because I don’t know what she’s researching.
Anyway, my coworker did a Houdini today for a few hours. Granted she told me about it 30 minute prior to leaving. She told me she had asked the temp from another department to come over and help me with the phones.
Well, when I asked the temp about it she said that J only asked her to cover during lunch. Normally that would have been fine, but today was one of those crazy days. L was at a budget hearing and K was running late for an appointment with two customers add to that L needed something for the hearing as it was in progress and you had the makings for a bitch of a day.
Then C decided to pull a pregnant bitch routine. An request for information had been faxed to me, but C now handles that. I had given it to her for processing. The agent called me back because he wanted to know when it would be e-mailed to him. When I went to ask her how long it would take she went off on me. Keep in mind that I had taken her to the place to get her hair done just the day before. I simply asked her when the agent could have his picture. She fussed at me then told me to have him call her, which I did. I didn’t want shit to do with her ass after that.
You know working for the government doesn't require a brain. It requires you to be an automaton and surrender the ability to think independently.
Now I'm dealing with R and it's freaking me out a bit. I know I have trust issues to work through, and I'm trying to not impose them on him. But while he was on his way home last night I thought I heard a woman's voice in the vehicle. No, I didn't ask him about it. Truthfully, I'm not sure what's going on with us. He's said he loves me but I don't feel it. Sometimes I feel more like an annoyance to him. Part of me wants to run.
I am uncertain and I don't even know what to ask. Hey, exactly how do you feel about me? If he doesn't love me as he said that's fine, but I wish he would just say so. No, I'm not saying I'll be overjoyed at that response, but it is better than not knowing. I'm tired of the uncertainty.
